Austin, TX — Billionaire tech mogul, meme enthusiast, and part-time chaos agent Elon Musk has once again shattered the boundaries of science, unveiling the world’s first functional time machine. However, instead of using it to prevent climate change, warn humanity about impending disasters, or buy Bitcoin at $1, Musk did what any self-proclaimed “meme lord” would do—he traveled back to 1930s Germany to introduce what he claims will be “the most viral arm gesture of all time.”
“Look, I’m not saying I’m a genius, but let’s be real—I’m the smartest person I know,” Musk said during an emergency X (formerly Twitter) Spaces event, moments before stepping into the machine, which he built out of a Tesla Cybertruck chassis and a prototype Neuralink brain interface. “I just wanted to show Hitler how to throw his heart to his adoring crowds.”
Despite widespread concerns, Musk, wearing an all-black MAGA hat written in the infamous Fraktur Font used extensively by the German 3rd Reich, assured his followers that his motivations were purely technological with a touch of neurodivergent autism.
